On March 22, 2004, we spoke with Marjorie Savage, Parent Program Director at the University of Minnesota, who serves as a liaison between the school and the parents of its 28,000 undergraduates. Her book, "You're on Your Own (But I'm Here If You Need Me)," published by Simon & Schuster in 2003, draws on her own years of working in student affairs and parent services, and from the experiences of her colleagues at other colleges and universities throughout the country. She has also conquered the challenges of distance parenting with her own two sons, who are now in their mid-twenties.

Click here to learn more about this book's testimonials and table of contents.

Below is the 3 page transcript of our interview with Marjorie.

The parents of today’s college students seem to have a much stronger level of involvement with their children than we used to see. They’ve been following the advice of educators who have told them it’s important to know their children’s friends, meet their kids’ teachers, and find out what’s happening in their schools. How does that change when the child leaves home for college?

When parents face the prospect of no longer seeing their child every morning and every evening, they worry about losing the level of closeness they used to have. Today’s college students, though, are in touch with their parents far more than students used to be. E-mail, cell phones, and even instant messaging keep kids and parents in close contact. Some parents tell me their children share more information with them as college students than they did when the kids were in high school.

What can be most challenging for parents, however, is that the college won’t be sharing the same level of information with them that they received when their children were in high school. By federal law, college-aged students control their own academic records and can determine what information -- if any -- parents will receive. Grade reports, then, go to the student, not the parents. Bills are addressed to the student. If the child gets in trouble for drinking, some schools will not share that information with parents. Parents need to talk to their child about how that information will be shared. If parents are concerned that their student will not provide the information they want, it’s a good idea to ask up front whether and how the college will give them these records.

The good news is that colleges and universities are recognizing that parents want more involvement with their college-aged students and with the school itself. More and more schools have Web sites for parents, newsletters, e-mail listservs, and events like Parents Weekend or Family Day.

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